Who needs an epidemiologist?

Here's the story of me - a well-educated (but broke) woman trying to raise two wee boys, a husband, be Martha Stewart, Ty Pennington, and Rachel Ray all rolled into one, while desparately seeking a career in epidemiology (which is NOT the study of the skin).

Friday, March 24, 2006

I Could Make a Fortune. . .

I've made a HUGE discovery! I've found the BEST exercise you can do to lose weight and build muscle. It's called taking two young children to the photo studio to have their pictures made. I'm thinking of making a video to specifically outline the program. Here's how it goes:
  1. It all starts when you rack your brain before you call the studio trying to decide what time is best to photograph both children (separately AND together) when they will both be in reasonably good moods.
  2. The day of the appointment, bathe both children and groom them in 30 minutes or less.
  3. Pack the bag - don't forget a brush (and in SOME people's cases hairbows - alas, I have no opportunity for hairbows), the right kind of socks, and antipersperant (for you, of course).
  4. Schlep everyone to the car.
  5. Arrive at the place too early.
  6. Try to keep the children from getting upset while "taking turns" with the 25 other children in the room who want to play with the two toys the "studio" has invested in.
  7. Go in the room.
  8. Dance around to get kid #1 to smile.
  9. Snatch kid #1 off the table and change his clothes.
  10. Dance around for kid #2.
  11. Throw kid #1 on the table with kid #2.
  12. Dance around for both kids.
  13. Snatch kid #2 off the table.
  14. Dance around for kid #1's shots in the 2nd outfit (only if you are VERY brave).
  15. Schlep everyone out of the room and stand while holding 25 lb. weight (or in my case non-walking baby), look at pictures, and stand on kid #2 to keep him from going nuts!
  16. Stagger out to the car and collapse - you've reached total muscle failure - CONGRATULATIONS!


  • At 3:06 PM, Blogger mk said…

    How funny! It sounds like you've been with me to Master Portrait. I'm sure the pictures turned out great - be sure to show them to us when you get them.

  • At 5:32 PM, Blogger Cindy said…

    Wasn't one kid SO easy...I never knew how easy it was when there was just Peyton. And, it is only going to get worse when Ansley figures out how to move.

  • At 2:28 PM, Blogger Amber said…

    i love you!!!!!!!!!!! i was dying laughing b.c i havent even attempted the two kid picture for this reason! taking kendall alone is enough to make me ready to pull all of my hair out!

  • At 8:31 PM, Blogger mk said…

    I have one picture from when Charlie was born - I'll email it to you.

  • At 8:40 PM, Blogger Mother Goose said…

    I'm getting an IUD.


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