Who needs an epidemiologist?

Here's the story of me - a well-educated (but broke) woman trying to raise two wee boys, a husband, be Martha Stewart, Ty Pennington, and Rachel Ray all rolled into one, while desparately seeking a career in epidemiology (which is NOT the study of the skin).

Friday, January 06, 2006

The New Year!

Okay - the new year has begun! My main resolutions this year - (1) become the real mother of the year (they really have that here in Greater Huntsville, but I don't really know how to get my name in the hat). You know the mother I mean, the one whose voice never goes above that fake calm voice even if her children are causing bodily harm to one another. I'm going to get there eventually. I work on that fake voice at least 1/2 hour each day. Except during todays session, my child proceeded to pull his pants down and urinate off our front steps WHILE our playdate and his mom were putting on their coats to leave our house. I lost the calm voice then. It wasn't pretty! (2) lose 60 pounds - I've ordered Weight Watchers and am starting Monday - that would be after I make fondue for dinner and have several large glasses of wine tonight. (3) get over my obsessions - I am compulsively obsessed with two things - vomit and zits. I cannot stand having a zit on my face that I have not "messed with" at some point. The vomit thing goes without saying around here and you all know this about me! I'm so freaky about it that when my kids are around other kids (to me - potential pukers) I give them both cranberry juice afterward because I read in a magazine that it has antimicrobic properties and can help avoid the stomach flu. This is the same magazine in which it talks about breathing during labor and how it helps with the pain - whatever!

Anyhow, here are my sweet kiddos that are forced to live with my neuroses just because I gave birth to them! Poor guys - just think, they'll have to take care of my zits when I'm in the nursing home! Lucky them!


  • At 8:28 PM, Blogger Mother Goose said…

    I really needed that laugh. I do that too, with zits.

    I was headed to teh library the other day when I heard a report about pandemic flu and I turned my butt around and went home like a tucked-tail dog. That's my obsession these days.

    Wish it had been me as your playdate! I wouldn't have been surprised at all since that is behavior my husband exhibits all the time. Peeing in the yard is a major issue in our marriage. I guess it's a guy thing.

    Happy New Year!

  • At 6:44 PM, Blogger Amber said…

    Jon Thomas looks 8 and it makes me want to start crying. Again, reading your blog cracks me up. Can we please come up with a new name for Blog-- it kind of reminds me of puke. I feel like I'm gonna blog. Good luck on the diet!! We are training for a 5K on Feb 18th and then a 10K in May. Our goal is a half marathon by Thanksgiving. After 2 days of running, i seriously cannot sit on the toliet without help. This should be tons of fun.

  • At 8:49 AM, Blogger mk said…

    I love the pix of the kids; they're growing up so fast! Charlie looks a lot like JT. Thanks for keeping us updated - sounds like not much has changed.

    Happy New Year!
    Hope to see you soon!


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