Who needs an epidemiologist?

Here's the story of me - a well-educated (but broke) woman trying to raise two wee boys, a husband, be Martha Stewart, Ty Pennington, and Rachel Ray all rolled into one, while desparately seeking a career in epidemiology (which is NOT the study of the skin).

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Errands

I ran errands with both dudes today. If you had been following closely behind us, here's what you would've heard throughout the trip. Let me also preface this with the fact that Jon Thomas is obsessed with animals of all sorts.

-Jon Thomas, mommy needs you to be a three toed sloth that walks on two legs in WalMart, not all four.
-Jon Thomas, I need you to be a tyrannosaurus rex that doesn't taste the broccoli that we aren't going to buy.
-Jon Thomas, I absolutely forbid you to be a boa constrictor during our errands today.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Okay, let's get real!

Alright people, here's the deal. . .

Have you ever linked to a blog of a person you don't know but find the link on another site? Well, I do regularly - yes, it happens to be a little bit like stalking, BUT it led me to this important discovery - sometimes reading those blogs makes me feel like a crappy parent and really a little nauseous. That being said, I will make my VERY IMPORTANT point. It makes me wonder if I totally wonderfulize my life for the sake of looking good in this particular forum. I mean, when moms out there start speaking lovingly about their child's "flailing prostrations", I'm beginning to doubt their sanity. I would call that a good old fashioned fit that needs a good old fashioned swat on the butt! So, in honor of my child's prostrations, here is an honest overview of my day on Wednesday, feelings and all . . . .

7:00 wake up Mommy! Breakfast is great until Charlie proceeds to "drink" from JT's big boy cup and spill it. I sent him to his room to wait to get changed while I clean up the mud colored liquid off my newly bleached tile grout. In the middle of the cleaning, he comes to me saying, "Mommy, dis goss" (Mommy this is gross) with his hand extended. Poop. Everywhere. It would seem that he decided to change himself after pooping.

Surprisingly the rest of the morning went relatively well. Jon Thomas responded relatively well to the new moving of the chips discipline method (yes, I will be writing a book on this later to be titled "Getting through the preschool years without being arrested for abuse using plastic, colored poker chips"). Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that kid, but sometimes I cannot STAND him. I mean it, sometimes I do not like him (how's that for wonderfulizing?) He can be whiny, overly needy, ARGUES WITH EVERYTHING and antagnizes his brother.

Note - - - this is much different from what I read on most other places where apparently the other older siblings of America stand lovingly by and attend to their younger siblings every need in VERY sensitive ways while never whining or bothering their moms.

So, the day passes. I work. Charlie sleeps. Jon Thomas plays and watches a little TV. We depart for Wednesday night supper where (seriously) I think Jon Thomas loses his mind. I really am thinking that he has some sort of undiagnosed allergy to some additive that makes him completely insane and not able to obey. I HAVE ALMOST convinced myself this is possible. He plays too rough with others, he screams, he demands dessert. I mean, so far, we are batting 3 for 3 in the "I can't stand it when you do that category" I have never been so glad to drop the kid off a choir in my life!

So, do you see what I mean here? My life IS FAR FROM PERFECT. Some days, it isn't even good. Woohoo, I feel unburdened. I feel lightened. I feel that I can proceed with my life now that you know these things about me. I think I've lost about 15 pounds just by breaking through the sugar coating. The best part is that I KNOW these other people feel the exact. same. way. They smile through it just like I do. Their kids try them just like mine do (well maybe not just like mine but close).