Who needs an epidemiologist?

Here's the story of me - a well-educated (but broke) woman trying to raise two wee boys, a husband, be Martha Stewart, Ty Pennington, and Rachel Ray all rolled into one, while desparately seeking a career in epidemiology (which is NOT the study of the skin).

Friday, June 13, 2008

Tips for Selling a House

Selling a house is GREAT! I really, really love it! I love it so much that I have compiled a list of things you should definitely do in order to sell your house quickly! If you adhere to these rules, I will guarantee you a contract in three days or less!!!!

1. Move out all your most favorite stuff without packing it and shove it into the attic haphazardly only when it is 900 degrees outside- this is called decluttering or depersonalizing. It is very important and you lose three pounds to boot! Just like the sauna, but funner.
2. Make sure that one of your chidren has to poop five seconds before prospective buyers are coming to see your house. It's even better if they forget to flush! It makes the house really 'homey'.
3. Try to baking something before prospective buyers come over, ESPECIALLY if something has spilled in the bottom of your oven. It really gives a house that 'homey' smell too! Even better if you have a self cleaning oven, and you just run the self cleaning cycle right before someone comes by.
4. Sit in the garage eating hot dogs while someone looks at the house and don't leave because the agent has blocked in your vehicle. This is better if it is pouring down rain outside and you sit in the garage in a folding chair.
5. Move your laptop to a new location where you have to move it each time you'd like to hook it up to the internet. This is especially good if your husband CAN'T figure our your wireless router and you threw away the directions.

So, really. We actually do have a contract on our house, but it is contingent on them selling their house. We'll see how that goes. People are still coming to look, and it's like an adventure gone wrong trying to keep everything in the proper order around this place! We are going camping tonight to avoid having to be home over the weekend. I hope you are all doing well. We are praying for your guys all the time, even though I haven't had five minutes to email or call. Love you guys!

3 Comments:

  • At 5:53 PM, Blogger Bridget said…

    Wow...that is amazing you have a contract so fast! Must have been the poop! hee hee.... When things slow down give us a call...we are praying for you too!

     
  • At 8:12 PM, Blogger mk said…

    That sure is some impressive poop!! Seriously, we're praying that the contract goes through without a hitch and your move will go extra smooth as well.

     
  • At 4:34 PM, Blogger coupon queen said…

    I love you girl!!! You make me laugh. Thank you for being so real- don't let those "holy women" at the seminary change you. :)

     

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