Who needs an epidemiologist?

Here's the story of me - a well-educated (but broke) woman trying to raise two wee boys, a husband, be Martha Stewart, Ty Pennington, and Rachel Ray all rolled into one, while desparately seeking a career in epidemiology (which is NOT the study of the skin).

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Lame, Lame, Lame

I have officially reached new heights of lame-ness in my parental/life skills. It seems as though my new mantra lately is "Daddy really knows more about that than me, why don't you ask him." That statement really goes a long way, and I can semi-console myself by thinking that it promotes father/son bonding. Here are some examples . . .

"Mom, how do batteries make things go?"
"Daddy really knows more about that than me, you'll need to ask him that question."
"Mom, is there such a thing as magic."
"Daddy really know more about that than me, you'll need to ask him that question.

It really started out as things that Daddy would, in fact, know more about than me. But it is such a simple and easy way of opting out of a couple of the three thousand questions I am asked each. and. every. day, so I find myself using the phrase more and more. . .

"Mom, why do girls wear two underwears and I only wear one?"
"Daddy really knows more about that than me, you'll need to ask him that question."

I just have three words for you . . . SCARRED FOR LIFE. or five words for you . . . NUT HOUSE HERE WE COME. I am certain some irreparable harm will come from pawning off this stuff on Jonathan, but I can't seem to help myself. It's sooooooo easy. Maybe tomorrow I'll try to explain the battery one, but the underwear question is definitely going to Daddy!

In other news, Charlie Spears has been having some potty training regression issues this week. It is NOT what I want to be dealing with right now. Jon Thomas just never had accidents after the week of training that we did, so this is totally unexpected for me.

We have recently had to take Charlie back to the urologist because there may be a complication with the surgery he had when he was 10 months old. The urologist told us to wait a year, see what happens and call him if anything changes. So, obviously wetting your pants when you have been potty trained since July is a change. I call the urologist. Here is my conversation with the nurse. . . .

Me - "I am concerned that this pants wetting thing is a progression of the problem we were seen for recently"

Nurse - "I see the notes about that visit in the chart."

Me - "Right, I really don't know if we should come in again or what?"

Nurse - "About the accidents, do you think there is a physical problem with his penis or is he having potty training regression?"

Me - "Um, I don't know. Let me ask him". . . SILENCE.

Me - "He is two years old." . . . SILENCE.


Nurse - "Okay mam. I'll have to talk to Dr. Hicks and get back with you."

I don't think that went so well.

I decided to wait it out and see if I really could tell a difference, and since he crapped his pants today I think I'll call it potty training regression! Sucks to be me. I know you aren't supposed to punish them for accidents, but obviously he has had the concept down SINCE JULY!

I'll just save everyone the trouble. I am a bad parent. So now, when the boys are older and in therapy, I can't be blamed due to the personal admission of crappy parent-ness very early on!

On a totally new subject, two of my dear friends and their families just came to visit us in Huntsville. Kudos to Bridget and Mary Kay! I would like to publically shame and berate those of you who have NOT made trip over to see us-Cindy Haislip and Amber Wiley (actually, I would accept anyone in the Mayfield family SINCE YOU HAVE RELATIVES THAT LIVE TWO HOURS FROM HERE!).

To steal a phrase that I love from my friend, KPB . . . Onward, Upward and Sideways! (In the Spears house, it is mostly sideways)


  • At 12:51 PM, Blogger Bridget said…

    Don't feel bad...I am going to post my mother of the year app. soon....though I am scared of someone using it against me in court with DEFACS.

  • At 8:22 AM, Blogger Cindy said…

    Oh man......way to show us up Mary Kay and Amber!! You know, the other day Peyton saw a picture of Jon Thomas on your blog and he asked who it was. I answered, "Jon Thomas." He then said "Who is Jon Thomas?" I was absolutely amazed. You guys have been gone so long, he doesn't even remember Jon Thomas.

    I, too, have begun passing off questions to Daddy. I don't feel bad, because out of the 3000 I'm asked a day, I probably only try to pass off 5 or so.

  • At 9:23 AM, Blogger Cindy said…

    I mean Bridget and Mary Kay....I can't type and talk on the phone at the same time, evidently.

  • At 9:23 AM, Blogger Cindy said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 5:11 AM, Blogger mk said…

    Sometimes we moms just need a break from the gazillion questions and children who talk just to hear their own voice.

    We had a great time visiting with y'all - next time we hope to stay longer than just one night.


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