I am really good at this . . . .

Clearly I am a house selling genius!!!! In SIX short days, not only did we get one offer, but TWO offers with one of these offers being ASKING PRICE! All the decluttering, depersonalizing, giving that house a 'homey' smell will be worth it when that check is in my hot little hands!

However, we really got a kick out of the request for repairs sheet, because the homeowner went a little overboard! For example, she wants us to ' have the two fence gate latches adjusted so that they open and close with ease' AND she requested that we add FIVE additional smoke detectors making a total of seven. The house is 1281 square feet with nine rooms- seriously, are we going to have smoke detectors for every room of this house? In addition to that, she wants us to provide receipts where a licensed professional completed all the repairs. Does she really think that I am going to have a licensed professional come out and adjust gate latches? Um, I don't think there is a heading for that in the Yellow Pages - Latch Specialist? Whatever.

Needless to say, the packing is commencing as well as the extreme paring down of all our possessions. As I pack in the sweltering heat, I wonder why we always manage to move in July? Because I know how to have a good time.

Tips for Selling a House

Selling a house is GREAT! I really, really love it! I love it so much that I have compiled a list of things you should definitely do in order to sell your house quickly! If you adhere to these rules, I will guarantee you a contract in three days or less!!!!

1. Move out all your most favorite stuff without packing it and shove it into the attic haphazardly only when it is 900 degrees outside- this is called decluttering or depersonalizing. It is very important and you lose three pounds to boot! Just like the sauna, but funner.
2. Make sure that one of your chidren has to poop five seconds before prospective buyers are coming to see your house. It's even better if they forget to flush! It makes the house really 'homey'.
3. Try to baking something before prospective buyers come over, ESPECIALLY if something has spilled in the bottom of your oven. It really gives a house that 'homey' smell too! Even better if you have a self cleaning oven, and you just run the self cleaning cycle right before someone comes by.
4. Sit in the garage eating hot dogs while someone looks at the house and don't leave because the agent has blocked in your vehicle. This is better if it is pouring down rain outside and you sit in the garage in a folding chair.
5. Move your laptop to a new location where you have to move it each time you'd like to hook it up to the internet. This is especially good if your husband CAN'T figure our your wireless router and you threw away the directions.

So, really. We actually do have a contract on our house, but it is contingent on them selling their house. We'll see how that goes. People are still coming to look, and it's like an adventure gone wrong trying to keep everything in the proper order around this place! We are going camping tonight to avoid having to be home over the weekend. I hope you are all doing well. We are praying for your guys all the time, even though I haven't had five minutes to email or call. Love you guys!