Who needs an epidemiologist?

2008-08-06T20:23:00.001-07:00

We've moved, so why not our blog? Check out our new blog at http://spearsportion.blogspot.com

It's a work in progress, so forgive me. The links part wasn't working right when I was working on it. I will get the rest of them up soon!

MOVING DAY IS ALMOST HERE!

2008-07-29T16:07:00.000-07:00

-Pots, pans, dishes, cups . . . . . . CHECK
-Clothing, towels, sheets, blankets . . . . . . CHECK
-Bilateral myringotomy with titanium tubes . . . . . . CHECK

As the days here in Huntsville wind down, we still have many things going on! Charlie's little immune system suddenly decided that it no longer liked the regular, garden variety ear tubes anymore and thus launched into full 'foreign-body rejection' attack mode which in regular, non-MD language means that his ear spouted blood, pus and other disgusting fluids at varying times during the day. Nice. As of today, we have a lovely set of titanium ear tubes that are supposedly VERY inert and not likely to upset young immune systems. What can I say, we know how to have fun!

We also have a house, err place to live in New Orleans. Because they don't have an apartment open for us, they have offered for us to live in 'temporary' housing. This means, we can live in a 'quad' apartment that is meant for four singles. Good news - four bedrooms, two bathrooms, cheaper, on campus. Bad news - REALLY small, already furnished, no additional furniture can be added, six kitchen cabinets. Needless to say, this changes our moving plan a little, and we have been going through all the boxes and paring them down even more.

BUT, we are moving in a little over a week, and we are EXCITED about it! The homeschooling is a go, and I am happily purchasing school supplies in anticipation. I also purchased clippers and shears so that my haircutting friend Tracey could teach me how to cut everyone's hair. She came over yesterday, and I am happy to report that I cut all three guys heads and they all lived to tell about it! Mind you, it was not JUST with the clippers, it was with the actual scissors too! They even all look pretty nice. I was happily surprised and think this new investment will save me approximately $30.00 per month. Rockin'!

The next time I post, it'll be from The Big Easy! I am SURE there will be a good moving story, so look forward to being happily embarrassed for me!

Homelessness and stuff

2008-07-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

We are homeless! We had a moving sale Friday and Saturday, moved on Sunday and closed on Monday. Whew! My entire life now resides in a 10 x 20 foot storage building. In some ways, I think that is good. Sometimes it makes me sad. Even sadder is that New Orleans Theological Seminary does not currently have an apartment for us! I have added on to my mantra. Now I constantly say, "God's plan is better then my plan" before I start rocking back and forth repeating, "I am okay, I AM okay, I am OKAY". I'll write more later when I stop rocking back and forth.

By the way, we are staying with friends here in Huntsville for three weeks until we move to NO.

And a wave of patriotism swept over me.

2008-07-04T15:15:00.000-07:00

Today, while I was packing and my house looked like this,

I had a moment of sadness thinking that my kids probably didn't even realize it was Independence Day at all. I mean, I didn't even monogram them a flag shirt or anything! AND on top of that, this may be one of the last Independence Days we experience here in the ol' USA. So, my motherly instincts kicked in and we created this

Yes, it IS an American Flag pizza with a homemade crust. Don't try to tell me I am not a patriot! ON TOP OF ALL THIS, I made this lovely creation without a rolling pin or any kitchen utensils really. (By the way, the blue part is not really old cheese but instead nice, fresh cheese dyed with food coloring to look like penicillin!)

Yes, I am going to write a book one day.

I am really good at this . . . .

2008-06-26T08:14:00.000-07:00

Clearly I am a house selling genius!!!! In SIX short days, not only did we get one offer, but TWO offers with one of these offers being ASKING PRICE! All the decluttering, depersonalizing, giving that house a 'homey' smell will be worth it when that check is in my hot little hands!

However, we really got a kick out of the request for repairs sheet, because the homeowner went a little overboard! For example, she wants us to ' have the two fence gate latches adjusted so that they open and close with ease' AND she requested that we add FIVE additional smoke detectors making a total of seven. The house is 1281 square feet with nine rooms- seriously, are we going to have smoke detectors for every room of this house? In addition to that, she wants us to provide receipts where a licensed professional completed all the repairs. Does she really think that I am going to have a licensed professional come out and adjust gate latches? Um, I don't think there is a heading for that in the Yellow Pages - Latch Specialist? Whatever.

Needless to say, the packing is commencing as well as the extreme paring down of all our possessions. As I pack in the sweltering heat, I wonder why we always manage to move in July? Because I know how to have a good time.

Tips for Selling a House

2008-06-13T11:59:00.000-07:00

Selling a house is GREAT! I really, really love it! I love it so much that I have compiled a list of things you should definitely do in order to sell your house quickly! If you adhere to these rules, I will guarantee you a contract in three days or less!!!!

1. Move out all your most favorite stuff without packing it and shove it into the attic haphazardly only when it is 900 degrees outside- this is called decluttering or depersonalizing. It is very important and you lose three pounds to boot! Just like the sauna, but funner.
2. Make sure that one of your chidren has to poop five seconds before prospective buyers are coming to see your house. It's even better if they forget to flush! It makes the house really 'homey'.
3. Try to baking something before prospective buyers come over, ESPECIALLY if something has spilled in the bottom of your oven. It really gives a house that 'homey' smell too! Even better if you have a self cleaning oven, and you just run the self cleaning cycle right before someone comes by.
4. Sit in the garage eating hot dogs while someone looks at the house and don't leave because the agent has blocked in your vehicle. This is better if it is pouring down rain outside and you sit in the garage in a folding chair.
5. Move your laptop to a new location where you have to move it each time you'd like to hook it up to the internet. This is especially good if your husband CAN'T figure our your wireless router and you threw away the directions.

So, really. We actually do have a contract on our house, but it is contingent on them selling their house. We'll see how that goes. People are still coming to look, and it's like an adventure gone wrong trying to keep everything in the proper order around this place! We are going camping tonight to avoid having to be home over the weekend. I hope you are all doing well. We are praying for your guys all the time, even though I haven't had five minutes to email or call. Love you guys!

Warning . . . Rambling Ahead

2008-05-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

Jonathan and I just returned from the great city of New Orleans where, God willing, we will call home within the next eight weeks! We are calling the real estate agent tomorrow, and if our house sells in time, we are moving! However, it may be a drawback that we just had an infestation of termites and a leaky roof! We'll see.

I'm thinking that going to seminary in New Orleans is the perfect way to cut our teeth for international missions because the city is like a whole 'nother country! WOW! I spent the night across the street from a billboard that showed photos of four men and asked the public to help in apprehending them as they are wanted for murder. Comforting to say the least!

Please remember us! So much is happening and some of it is not all that exciting to me. It seems as though I am going to going to work full time in New Orleans to bring home the bacon while Jonathan is gettin' ejecatd. I was really getting into this whole 'about to start homeschooling' thing, so I am sad to give that up (although I am still holding out hope that we will find a way-scholarship anyone?)!

I can't even describe to you all that has to happen before we can move because I then would be in tears and overwhelmed by it all, so I will contentedly blog about it all the while repeating to myself that I am okay. (I am OKAY, I am okay, I AM okay). Okay.

What a fun time we had down in the Big Easy! I really am excited about living on the campus. I think it is going to be a wonderful time for our family-especially the kids. It really seemed like a GREAT place to be.

We also celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary while we were there. The kids stayed with my mom for an entire week, so I had some down time and relaxed a good bit. I did all sorts of fun relaxing things - shopped at garage sales, thrift shops, went to the library, etc. I even got to go to Sonic alone and get a huge (albeit diet) Coke. Are you all aware that Sonic has the BEST ice on EARTH? I am sure I will miss Sonic ice when we leave for the wilds of ___________ (just fill in the blank with the funniest place you can imagine me living-that's what we do)!

Preschool graduation was fun (although unnecessary-how many times can one graduate really?) It was sweet and there was a slide show from when the kids were tiny until now (sniff, sniff). Growing up - WOW!

What can I say about this kid? He is so cute and sweet. I like him a lot!

I need to end by saying that some of my friends (who shall remain nameless) don't ever update their blogs and it saddens and annoys me. I mean, what else do you have to do? I know after I left your vicinity you don't have a life or anything. Come on people. Throw a dog a bone! I mean it's JUNE (almost) the SANTA pictures are getting old! :)

Dirty, Rotten Scoundrels

2008-05-09T04:43:00.000-07:00

Patience is my least favorite lesson. . .

2008-04-08T08:20:00.001-07:00

Long, long ago in a land where the Spears once lived called Atlanta, a lady told me that I should NEVER, NEVER pray for patience. What a smart lady she was. Too bad I had already prayed for it EVERY DAY since Jon Thomas was 18 months old! Well since that glorious day when I prayed that little prayer, the Lord has been faithful to answer it - which means that He has been faithful to put me into situations where I am required to learn PATIENCE.

Lately, my patience training has really moved into the endurance phase with this whole mission board application. It's a huge rush to fill out forms and forms and forms that describe (in a little too much detail) your entire life and that of your children AND then WAIT six to eight weeks for an answer! Wow! Really working on the ol' patience there, huh! AND take note here that their answer might be MORE WAITING!

All our plans are currently on hold as we WAIT on our preliminary medical clearance to come through. I am continuing to try and lose weight as that is probably going to be our biggest obstacle in getting aforementioned medical clearance. As you read this, remember me - from the good 'ol days when we used to go to the park and Chic Fil A. Try not to get to know the 'now me' who is chronically calorie deprived, trying to answer 1200 questions (literally) about the health history of myself and the dudes while doing it all with PATIENCE.

My Baby is THREE!

2008-03-17T17:40:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Charlie - little three year old man! Your Curious George/Monkey birthday party ROCKED!

Update!

2008-02-27T09:25:00.000-08:00

First I must apologize to those who have emailed me wanting the full meal deal on the trip to Africa. I fully intend to sit down on night and dialogue it all in a nice document to send to you guys, but that hasn't occurred yet. However, that is no excuse for allowing your emails to sit idly in my inbox when it would only take mere moments for me to reply. Please forgive me. I will get around to that very soon as I am planning to do one of those cool online photo scrapbooks from Shutterfly and I plan to do a lot of journaling in it, so maybe I will just let you look at it.

It has been a nuthouse around here since I got home. Really not a nuthouse so much as just every single solitary moment of my time seems to be taken up by one activity or another. I'm not just talking about frivolous things here either - we aren't playing any sports or anything this spring. It just seems that life and the big changes going on in our family are making regular life more time consuming. We are trying to eliminate the small amount of debt we have while at the same time saving for our big move . . . .YES, we are *almost 100%* sure we will be moving to New Orleans in/around August for Jonathan to begin seminary. He has already started taking a class online and is loving it. Who knew Biblical Geography could be so much fun? Certainly not me. My vow of never returning to any sort of schooling for myself is still heartily in place. The stint at Emory was long enough to make me want to run screaming from learning institutions of all types!

Here's the hard part of the post. This is the part where most of my friends are going to shake their heads and say aloud or at least think very strongly that I have lost my mind. Right now, I am also going to have to eat many of the words I have uttered MANY times, so I will be eating a pretty big meal! I have been spending a lot of time reading books about homeschooling! There. I said it. I am going to start homeschooling Jon Thomas starting in August with kindergarten. There are many reasons why I have made this decision (which I won't bore you with ) but the least of which is that we expect to go through many, many changes in the next twelve months, and I feel pretty strongly that there should be a few constants in our kids lives. Our family will be one constant and the homeschooling will be another. AND I really don't mind if you leave derogatory comments - I'll totally understand. I mean I have literally said (on more than one occasion) "I will NEVER homeschool Jon Thomas".

The whole homeschooling admission brings me to a entirely different portion of my post. Please don't read this if you are easily offended, etc. Just stop right now - because I have something negative to say about homeschooling mothers, AND I am making these judgements based purely on observation because I have not had many in depth friendships or relationships with many home school mothers. I am also very certain that when I start seeking out other homeschoolers, I will change my mind. Wow, talk about prefacing your statement to be politically correct . . . . Do I have to become a disorganized, tree hugging weirdo in order to homeschool? Can I still yell at my kids when they are driving me nuts? Am I allowed to read books for pure enjoyment instead of books about children's brains, the status of our nation's educational system and learning styles of kindergarten kids? Can I do this homeschooling thing without being totally, 100% in love with it to the point of eating, sleeping and breathing it. I am hoping that the answer is yes. I think I have managed to do a few things in my life without being totally, 100%, type A, crazy about it type person. For example, I breastfed both my children, but I did it without turning into one of those crazy, fanatic people that think things like nipple confusion really exist and refuse their children a pacifier or bottle. I am hopeful that I can wade through all of this homeschooling information without losing my sanity, becoming completely disorganized, maintaining my independence from my children as well as theirs from me. We'll see!

Home from Africa!

2008-02-05T09:40:00.000-08:00

Two Words - Squatty Potty

At the Safari Park

In the Desert

Hello All! I did make it home from Africa and have spent the last couple of weeks processing all that I experienced, saw and learned during my 14 days in Nigeria. It was a WONDERFUL experience, and God was protecting and leading the entire trip! I would love to share more with you but this is probably not the best forum for that! Email me if you would like more details! I will leave you with some photos. . .

WOW!!!!

2008-01-05T06:20:00.000-08:00

I can't believe the day is finally here! By the time many of you read this, I will be on an airplane flying somewhere over the continent of Africa with a final destination of Nigeria. Traveling to Africa has been my heart's desire probably since 7th grade geography when Ms. Williams said, "Class, pack your suitcases because we are goind to travel (in our minds and books, of course) to Afric-er and Asi-er". Any way you put it, this trip is HUGE for me.

I had planned to post some pictures of my beautiful African wardrobe, but time has escaped me. I will be covered from head to toe! I have spent the last two weeks making long skirts with matching wraps for my head from a lovely selection of $1 fabric from WalMart!!!! Let's just say that I do realize that I have a sweet, round, chubby face, but you haven't seen sweet, round OR chubby until you've seen me with all my hair covered up in a head scarf! I can't wait until I can post some photos for you to see!

We won't return until January 20th, so it's a lengthy trip. I am the only one traveling who has young kids, so missing them is going to be a big deal for me, I am sure! Please pray for us as we travel and as we work among the people. This trip is a year in the making, and prayer warriors are essential for our trip to be a success!

Big News From the Spears. . .

2007-12-17T05:45:00.000-08:00

No, I am not pregnant, but we have made a really life altering decision around the Spears house. We have officially sent in our first set of paperwork to the International Mission Board! We are so excited about this new adventure God is calling us to go on! The process is a long one - probably more than a year, so we will need lots of patience and endurance. I will also need a large dose of 'let go and let God' as I have to give up my planning, type A personality and let this process work without knowing every detail along the way!

We covet your prayers and support during this exciting time!

Lame, Lame, Lame

2007-12-05T20:15:00.000-08:00

I have officially reached new heights of lame-ness in my parental/life skills. It seems as though my new mantra lately is "Daddy really knows more about that than me, why don't you ask him." That statement really goes a long way, and I can semi-console myself by thinking that it promotes father/son bonding. Here are some examples . . .

"Mom, how do batteries make things go?"
"Daddy really knows more about that than me, you'll need to ask him that question."

"Mom, is there such a thing as magic."
"Daddy really know more about that than me, you'll need to ask him that question.

It really started out as things that Daddy would, in fact, know more about than me. But it is such a simple and easy way of opting out of a couple of the three thousand questions I am asked each. and. every. day, so I find myself using the phrase more and more. . .

"Mom, why do girls wear two underwears and I only wear one?"
"Daddy really knows more about that than me, you'll need to ask him that question."

I just have three words for you . . . SCARRED FOR LIFE. or five words for you . . . NUT HOUSE HERE WE COME. I am certain some irreparable harm will come from pawning off this stuff on Jonathan, but I can't seem to help myself. It's sooooooo easy. Maybe tomorrow I'll try to explain the battery one, but the underwear question is definitely going to Daddy!

In other news, Charlie Spears has been having some potty training regression issues this week. It is NOT what I want to be dealing with right now. Jon Thomas just never had accidents after the week of training that we did, so this is totally unexpected for me.

We have recently had to take Charlie back to the urologist because there may be a complication with the surgery he had when he was 10 months old. The urologist told us to wait a year, see what happens and call him if anything changes. So, obviously wetting your pants when you have been potty trained since July is a change. I call the urologist. Here is my conversation with the nurse. . . .

Me - "I am concerned that this pants wetting thing is a progression of the problem we were seen for recently"

Nurse - "I see the notes about that visit in the chart."

Me - "Right, I really don't know if we should come in again or what?"

Nurse - "About the accidents, do you think there is a physical problem with his penis or is he having potty training regression?"

Me - "Um, I don't know. Let me ask him". . . SILENCE.

Me - "He is two years old." . . . SILENCE.

Me - "I CALLED YOU BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL IF IT IS A PROBLEM OR POTTY TRAINING REGRESSION BECAUSE I AM NOT A PEDIATRIC UROLOGIST."

Nurse - "Okay mam. I'll have to talk to Dr. Hicks and get back with you."

I don't think that went so well.

I decided to wait it out and see if I really could tell a difference, and since he crapped his pants today I think I'll call it potty training regression! Sucks to be me. I know you aren't supposed to punish them for accidents, but obviously he has had the concept down SINCE JULY!

I'll just save everyone the trouble. I am a bad parent. So now, when the boys are older and in therapy, I can't be blamed due to the personal admission of crappy parent-ness very early on!

On a totally new subject, two of my dear friends and their families just came to visit us in Huntsville. Kudos to Bridget and Mary Kay! I would like to publically shame and berate those of you who have NOT made trip over to see us-Cindy Haislip and Amber Wiley (actually, I would accept anyone in the Mayfield family SINCE YOU HAVE RELATIVES THAT LIVE TWO HOURS FROM HERE!).

To steal a phrase that I love from my friend, KPB . . . Onward, Upward and Sideways! (In the Spears house, it is mostly sideways)

Guilty . . .

2007-11-08T09:16:00.000-08:00

Of allowing Jon Thomas to think and to tell everyone that yesterday was my 21st birthday!

I didn't even care that he also told everyone it was his 5th birthday which would make me 16 when I had him!

2007-11-05T07:42:00.000-08:00

NUMBER OF TENTS PURCHASED . . . 1

NUMBER OF CAMPING TRIPS COMPLETED . . . 2

NUMBER OF STITCHES REQUIRED . . . 3

The feeling you get when you see your child bash his head on a rock and bleed profusely while camping . . . .

PRICELESS

SHARK ATTACK!!!!!!

2007-11-01T14:55:00.000-07:00

The cute elephant is our friend Kennedy!

Or we could double as Coneheads

Oh. Yeah. Baby.

Our Halloween costumes this year were in response to the complete obsession we have around our home with sharks (really marine life in general). It all started back in July with Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. I must say, I do enjoy a good shark documentary, but seven days straight is almost more than I could bear!!!!!!

They got entirely too much candy while trick or treating, but luckily for me having a birthday that immediately follows Halloween is good because the candy is immediately used as favors for the birthday party!!!

Alabama

2007-10-23T13:54:00.000-07:00

I've been living in Alabama for about 2 1/2 years now, and there's this really creepy thing that I have noticed since living here. No matter the day of the week, if you turn on the radio at 5:00 p.m. and scan through the channels, the odds are good that you are going to find one or more radio stations playing 'Sweet Home Alabama' or 'Freebird'. It's very strange. I mean, very strange.

CAMPING!

2007-10-18T08:39:00.000-07:00

A brief synopsis of the Spears camping trip . . . .
Pitching a tent is really hard work!

Potential Christmas card photo (so pretend you haven't ever seen it, okay)

SMORES!

POST-smore and POST-corn on the cob

My Guys!

Morning.

Couldn't Resist!

2007-10-09T11:38:00.000-07:00

I couldn't resist posting a few of the pics I took of the boys when we went to the Botanical Gardens today. So Cute!!!

Pals

2007-10-03T08:07:00.001-07:00

The Spears' newest acquisition, the 'Safari Jeep'! Hours and hours of safari play. Please make note of the shirtlessness that apparently is a right of passage into being a safari-er. Also of note, Jon Thomas does not have a tan on his back, that is a coating of dirt from rolling around on the 'dirt hill' in our yard.
Shirtlessness is also a right of manhood for cowboys in last year's Halloween costumes.

The Spears go Walking . . . .

2007-09-11T18:20:00.001-07:00

While wearing goggles and swimmies. We really know how to have a good time!

Soccer Mom 101

2007-08-17T16:50:00.000-07:00

Here is my latest business venture. I am going to market classes to mothers whose children are first-timers in the world of athletics. I will teach them how to coach their children so as the entire family will not look like idiots at practices and/or games (especially when you are a four year old playing in an under-6 league with all children are who about to turn six!).

Here are the first five lessons of Soccer Mom Perfection 101 . . . .

1. Coach your child INTENSELY on what is appropriate to say and what is not appropriate to say at practice. For example, pointing out every airplane that passes overhead is NOT pertinent to playing the game of soccer and therefore should be kept to oneself.

2. Make it understood that your child is NOT to give you a running commentary from the field when you are on the sidelines, i.e. when the ball whizzes past the kid into the goal, do not look at me and say, "Wow Mom, these kids are good!"

3. Wear appropriate soccer attire to practice (especially when it is 101 degrees outside). You have to go to the store and get the appropriate 'costume' for the sport you are playing, so for soccer practice you will look like a dork if you show up in a shirt with your Children's Place khaki cargo shorts because your mother HATES athletic shorts and hasn't ever bought you any.

4. Don't become so engrossed in the newfound sport that you neglect your other children. For example, if you have a child that is newly potty trained, you might want to consider where he will poop when you are practicing in a cut over cotton field (other than in his newly acquired Elmo big boys - - - pooping in one's Elmo big boys is a setback even though you couldn't help it)

5. Be understanding that your child cannot be expected to concentrate on a lot of things at once. Give them a simple direction before the practice and you do the rest. Tell the kid to listen to his coach. Then you are left with the responsibility of making sure that he doesn't step in the fire ant beds on the "practice field" so as to avoid leaving practice via paramedical assistance.

Don't you think I'll make a million dollars with all this practical advice??? I'm certain that after Tuesday's practice, I will have five more lessons!

I HAVE TWO CHILDREN THAT USE THE POTTY.

2007-08-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

While my friends are off meeting celebrities and traveling all over the globe, I have been at home sloshing around in poops and tee-tee! It has totally been worth it, because I HAVE NOT PURCHASED DIAPERS IN TWO WEEKS! nuf said.

We had a great time . . .

2007-07-19T07:23:00.000-07:00

That is, after Charlie decided that the mascot was not going to look our way or that the tiny, helium-filled blimp floating around wasn't going to come near us. It took about twenty minutes to get him into his own seat, but after that he was all about it. The team is Huntsville's own arena football team the Tennessee Valley Vipers. The last pic is of Vinnie the Viper. We are thinking about getting season tix next year!!!

'Member that?

2007-07-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

Hello all! Do you remember that last post pretty much about how fantastic I am and what all I've accomplished? Yeah, I thought you did.

Just to update you guys. My car loan company called me today saying my payment was really late (by the way, they were really mean about it too) which puzzled me greatly because being so on top of things, I mailed all the first of the month July bills back before it was even July yet. So, I am telling this woman that my payment must be lost in the mail and that I am NOT sending two payments in one month AND paying a stop payment fee on the check I ALREADY sent. As I am on the phone with the nasty bill collector, I thumb through my financial records make sure I am correct and find my car payment sitting in my finance notebook, in a lovely envelope neatly stamped and ready to go in the mail.

Can you beat that???

Bragging on myself . . . a little.

2007-07-08T13:22:00.000-07:00

Since my fantastic, no kids adventure in Washington D.C., I have really stepped it up a notch in many parts of my life. I mean enough to even put it down in writing. Now granted, as soon as I click the 'Publish Post' button, I am positively certain that some irreversible crisis will occur that throws all of this off kilter, but I feel that I should enjoy this place while it lasts.

I am at that place where I feel really good about things. I am not "I am Woman, Hear me Roar" kind of on top of things, but I am getting pretty close. I hope that everyone has this kind of place. The place where you are ahead and feeling really relaxed/excited, beause if you don't then that means that I suffer from some sort of mental disorder. I would be sad about that, especially since I've been feeling so great lately. If I find out that you don't have "this place" and that I have a mental disorder, then where will I be???? Anyway, since I got home from my trip, my mothering skills are back to their pre-trip-ness. I am more relaxed and handling the bumps in the road much better. I don't even think that I have talked to the boys in that scary, clenching your teeth together voice once! Score one for me.

My home has been the picture of calm serenity (okay, okay only 85% serenity). At any given moment, I am literally fifteen minutes of putting away toys from being perfectly CLEAN. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, they say. Even though I am at that wonderfully, clean place, I would like to know exactly who said that to begin with and force them into a puddle of mud while talking in that scary, clenched teeth kind of way.

My checkbook is perfectly balanced. My meals are perfectly balanced. My children are still a little unbalanced, but they are mine so I don't expect more than that ever. I have finished several of the half begun projects that are in my life. If I could force myself to sit at the sewing machine for a couple of hours, that would be even better!

Ahhhh, it is so nice to enjoy this moment with you. Because this moment doesn't come around very often, but when it does it is sooo swwweeettt! Enjoy!

If you were worried . . . I'm BACK!

2007-06-25T18:35:00.001-07:00

Admit it. For a moment you wanted to come to Huntsville and take me away to that nice place we like to call "the home" or "the nuthouse" (we have experience, okay). Fear no longer people, I'm back! I just spent FIVE (that's the number of fingers onone whole hand) DAYS in DC with my husband, in a hotel with a rented Ford Focus WITHOUT MY CHILDREN! Before you become concerned, they were in Mississippi with my sister having not been removed from my care by law enforcement! What a fun time!!!!!!! Not exagerating, I was in the supine position from the time I arrived until a good 40 hours later only getting up to walk downstairs three times to eat! H-E-A-V-E-N, right. here. on. Earth! After that, I rented my very own fire engine red Ford Focus and spent the next day searching out exciting shopping venues! I spent the entire day in a mall and I didn't even darken the doors of Gymboree, Children's Place or Talbot's for Kids (even though I wanted to really bad because they had some really cute stuff in the window). I got a make-over so that my make-up no longer resembles Casper the Friendly Ghost, but now is a nice shade of Casper the Friendly Ghost post walking through a slight dust storm. I went to a movie (Knocked Up), and although I thought it totally sucked except for a couple of kind of funny parts, I was there alllllllll alone, basking in the the glow of the theatre lights on my fantastic Estee Lauter dirty ghost makeup with freshly painted toenails and no food particles on my WHITE shirt!

The next day, Jonathan and I spent the whole day in DC looking at stuff. At one point, we sat on a park bench for roughly an hour. Just sitting. Not answering any questions. Not wiping anyone's butt. Not putting out any fires. If I didn't tell you already, I enjoyed myself! I even had a good time when they announced that my flight was going to be two hours late departing. Everyone is flipping out while I am calmly reading, and just so you know, I was NOT reading a smart, politically correct, current issues type book-it was a really cheesy romance novel!!!!!!!!!!

While I was in DC, my loving sister was caring for my children, even going as far as schleping them to swimming lessons at her pool. Of course, when I was allowed to step off the plane and turn on my cell when I first arrived in DC, I received a message that Charlie's temperature was 102. I mean, the kid always has had great timing.

Now, I am home trying to deal with the 17,000 issues that have been sitting here waiting for me to return. Like, what am I going to do about my passport that has expired and will take an eternity to replace when I am supposed to be going to Nigeria in January or my kitchen floor that has been waiting for me to seal it with this special tile sealer forever or my carpets which desparately need cleaning or the seven gifts I need to monogram/make or the baby bed that is sitting in my dining room waiting to be taken out to the attic or the suitcases ready to be unpacked or the budget I need to revamp for AWANA or the 700 phone calls I need to make.

I am SURE everyone has a list like mine, probably worse, but my question is . . . how can I keep my vacation-type, care-free, loving life attitude and still manage to accomplish some of these things?

Blunders of a 30-year-old!

2007-06-14T05:41:00.000-07:00

In my long seven months of being a thirty-something, I have noticed some changes, and most of them are showing me how OLD 30 can really be. . .

Mary Kay (sweet gal that she is) sent me an E-card one day wishing me a great day - obviously for some sort of birthday or something. I sat and thought for fully five minutes thinking she had obviously sent this mistakenly before I realized that it was my 9th wedding anniversary! Thank goodness Jonathan forgot too (he's thirty-something also)! Clearly my brain cells are not functioning at to 20-something capcity any longer.

I was physically exhausted by WEDNESDAY of Bible School week. Previous to this, I could totally keep going until Friday at least! At the Wednesday night family service, I was hanging out with the other exhausted blue-haired ladies. Heck, I even got an invite to bingo. Apparently, bingo is not an overly tiring activity.

Here is where I suppose I should write something about my bodily functions. In reality, I have had 80-year-old woman bodily functions for my entire life, and it may be a little more than you care to hear about. Use your imagination.

After thinking about all these things, I had an epiphany. My kids are old enough that it is time for me to go out and have an outside activity! Something fun and just for me. So, I signed up for a cake decorating class at Michael's. Only then did I realize that THIS IS GETTING SERIOUS! A cake decorating class. Okay, cancel that. I think maybe a pottery class. No, that's no good either. I think I'll just go to bingo!

To Three or not to Three

2007-05-03T09:42:00.000-07:00

There is a big debate going on around our house . . . in reality there isn't really a debate - Jonathan and I are each standing steadfast in our completely opposite decisions about whether or not to have a third child.

For me, I change my mind every day - today for example, I'm feeling like two is my number. Both kids are outside playing in the sandbox together while I type - which is really nice, er uh more like terrific! So, I think to myself, why would you want to return to the world of sleep deprivation, crying, nursing again. Here's why . . . I feel like I missed out on something during Charlie's babyhood, maybe I took it for granted or something (mainly because at that time Jonathan was into the idea of having more kids). Then there was a move when Charlie was three months old and all the emotional turmoil that comes with uprooting your entire life and going to live in a place where you do not know one singly solitary soul. At times I think that I might die at the prospect of never nursing another baby in the middle of night or slathering Baby Magic (original scent only) on another tiny bottom.

Jonathan, on the other hand, wants no part of another baby. His perspective is that we have two precious children who are on the cusp of doing totally fun things like camping, fishing, etc, so why would we want to rock the boat.

What a conundrum! What IS a girl to do?

Photo Shoot! Now I know why they call it a shoot!

2007-04-19T06:35:00.000-07:00

I've posted a few samples of our recent trip to get our pictures made. Above is the only photo in which Charlie is smiling, if you could even call that a smile. Too bad it is on the ugliest background I've ever seen!

2007-04-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

Hi, my name is Jon Thomas. My mom thinks this picture is precious, but what you don't know is that I woke up with poison ivy on the left side of my face and she gave me a heaping teaspoon of Benadryl and put make-up over it so it wouldn't show!

2007-04-19T06:31:00.000-07:00

Hi, my name is Charlie. I am precious too, but don't you people understand that I am not going to smile for any reason.

2007-04-19T06:29:00.000-07:00

The Benadryl is kicking in!

2007-04-19T06:27:00.000-07:00

I'm two and clearly overjoyed about it!

2007-04-19T06:25:00.000-07:00

Photo Shoot OVER!

Hottie with Purple Hair!

2007-04-05T08:39:00.000-07:00

So, here's me in all my glory on crazy hair night at Awana. I got a lot of compliments on my hot self with purple hair. Anyway, it's been crazy around here with not a lot to comment on! Maybe I'll think of something good to post later. Doesn't JT look like I've forced him to wear that stupid green wig? He really wore it for four days before the actual public debut! Go figure!

Errands

2007-02-14T09:24:00.000-08:00

I ran errands with both dudes today. If you had been following closely behind us, here's what you would've heard throughout the trip. Let me also preface this with the fact that Jon Thomas is obsessed with animals of all sorts.

-Jon Thomas, mommy needs you to be a three toed sloth that walks on two legs in WalMart, not all four.
-Jon Thomas, I need you to be a tyrannosaurus rex that doesn't taste the broccoli that we aren't going to buy.
-Jon Thomas, I absolutely forbid you to be a boa constrictor during our errands today.

Okay, let's get real!

2007-02-09T14:29:00.000-08:00

Alright people, here's the deal. . .

Have you ever linked to a blog of a person you don't know but find the link on another site? Well, I do regularly - yes, it happens to be a little bit like stalking, BUT it led me to this important discovery - sometimes reading those blogs makes me feel like a crappy parent and really a little nauseous. That being said, I will make my VERY IMPORTANT point. It makes me wonder if I totally wonderfulize my life for the sake of looking good in this particular forum. I mean, when moms out there start speaking lovingly about their child's "flailing prostrations", I'm beginning to doubt their sanity. I would call that a good old fashioned fit that needs a good old fashioned swat on the butt! So, in honor of my child's prostrations, here is an honest overview of my day on Wednesday, feelings and all . . . .

7:00 wake up Mommy! Breakfast is great until Charlie proceeds to "drink" from JT's big boy cup and spill it. I sent him to his room to wait to get changed while I clean up the mud colored liquid off my newly bleached tile grout. In the middle of the cleaning, he comes to me saying, "Mommy, dis goss" (Mommy this is gross) with his hand extended. Poop. Everywhere. It would seem that he decided to change himself after pooping.

Surprisingly the rest of the morning went relatively well. Jon Thomas responded relatively well to the new moving of the chips discipline method (yes, I will be writing a book on this later to be titled "Getting through the preschool years without being arrested for abuse using plastic, colored poker chips"). Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that kid, but sometimes I cannot STAND him. I mean it, sometimes I do not like him (how's that for wonderfulizing?) He can be whiny, overly needy, ARGUES WITH EVERYTHING and antagnizes his brother.

Note - - - this is much different from what I read on most other places where apparently the other older siblings of America stand lovingly by and attend to their younger siblings every need in VERY sensitive ways while never whining or bothering their moms.

So, the day passes. I work. Charlie sleeps. Jon Thomas plays and watches a little TV. We depart for Wednesday night supper where (seriously) I think Jon Thomas loses his mind. I really am thinking that he has some sort of undiagnosed allergy to some additive that makes him completely insane and not able to obey. I HAVE ALMOST convinced myself this is possible. He plays too rough with others, he screams, he demands dessert. I mean, so far, we are batting 3 for 3 in the "I can't stand it when you do that category" I have never been so glad to drop the kid off a choir in my life!

So, do you see what I mean here? My life IS FAR FROM PERFECT. Some days, it isn't even good. Woohoo, I feel unburdened. I feel lightened. I feel that I can proceed with my life now that you know these things about me. I think I've lost about 15 pounds just by breaking through the sugar coating. The best part is that I KNOW these other people feel the exact. same. way. They smile through it just like I do. Their kids try them just like mine do (well maybe not just like mine but close).

Christmas is in 6 days!

2006-12-19T12:31:00.000-08:00

Okay, this is going to be the fastest summary of a month you have ever seen! I cannot believe that Christmas is in only six days. I still have at least 5 gifts to monogram. Oh my Lordy!

So, here it is the month in review. . .

Thanksgiving was awesome with the exception of not being able to get a really cute Christmas picture of my kids on the train caboose that you can't really even tell is a caboose in the picture.
Keeping the secret and surprising Jonathan with an early Santa present (Ford Explorer Sport Trac) for Christmas. People, you know the mouth I have on me. I was so nervous and scared he was going to yell at me about. You have never seen someone's IBS act up so much! Needless to say, he was VERY surprised and excited about his truck.
Computer death. My computer died. Yes, the computer that I have to use for work EVERY day died. So, new computer purchase. Do you know how great the prices are on computers right now. Do you also know how difficult it is to actually find a store with the one you want in stock?
Christmas party. I had a fancy dinner party at my house so that I could use my beautiful Christmas china (that I've been collecting since I was 12 years old) and it was lots of fun!
ER visit - Jonathan visits the ER because he is sick as a dog and has Campylobacter which he picked up while eating out on a business trip. YUCK!
Everyone else has had the stomach bug - not a bad one - no vomiting, so I won't whine too much about that!
I am busily getting ready to go on our Christmas trip to MS and trying to clean my house laughing out loud while cleaning out my fridge thinking about the time that Amber Wiley asked me if people really wipe out their refrigerators when we saw that on a list of household chores one time.
I am, however, ahead of the game this year as I plan not to be wrapping Christmas presents five minutes prior to gift opening, even better is the fact that I will also not be upstairs trying to finish making gifts on Christmas Eve.

I hope you all have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Yes, It IS Jon Thomas

2006-11-17T15:55:00.000-08:00

Backhanded Compliments

2006-11-12T19:39:00.000-08:00

AKA . . . Things people say out loud and in public that you have to smile and pretend to take as a compliment but really it wasn't meant to be a compliment.

Italicized beside each comment is my thought on what the true meaning of the comment is . . .

He is ALL boy!
He is SOOO busy!
I bet they keep you running, don't they? These all mean the same thing. Your kid is nuts. He's loud, runs around like an animal, and I'm trying to think of something nice to say about him even though I'm tempted to scream at him begging for silence right this very minute.
Well, you know they asked me to do ______ job and I just wouldn't do it, but I'm so glad you took it on. I am of such greater importance than you that they asked me to do _______ before you and you'd better not forget it.
You are doing a great job, considering the circumstances. You pretty much suck, but I'm glad you are doing it and not me.
You've got book smarts and that's what really counts. You idiot. You might can configure a nuclear weapon but in real life you are a MORON!
I was worried that you might have taken on too much responsibilty. I TOLD YOU SO! You can't do nuthin'.
Oh yes, you have definitely improved since you two got married. You were absolutely intolerable before and now you're just barely so.
You look great! Who's funeral are we going to? You look like we're going to a funeral.

Come on, let me hear some of your best!

I couldn't resist posting this picture of my child after he won his first "official" trophy. He won 4th place for design in our church's Pinewood Derby Grand Prix!

Yo Ho, Yo Ho A Pirate's Life for Me!

2006-11-07T14:27:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was JT's 4th birtday party! HE'S 4 YEARS OLD HERE PEOPLE! I am seriously not loving this whole growing up thing. Sometimes I even miss that little boy who couldn't play alone and was constantly hanging on my leg. Well, only when I'm really hormonal.

I have a couple of those Williow Tree figurines, and Jonathan gave me another for my birthday (we have officially stopped mentioning which birthday that is). Anyway, it was a mother and a son. The last one he gave me was a mother holding a tiny boy baby in her arms! I think I cried for half an hour. On that cheery note, I'll leave you with a few pictures from the pirate birthday party (hence the title).

ARRGGH Matey! That pink thing is a twisted balloon
sword - just in case you were wondering.

If there had been a contest . . . CLEARLY we would have won!

2006-10-28T19:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, have you ever seen cuter cowboys than this?

AND I think I deserve some props because the costumes are complete a whole 72 hours prior to Halloween - unlike last year when we were spray painting the tin man's hat at 5:00 p.m. the day of.

However, it is increasingly difficult to take a photo of my two children together without it looking like this! The Christmas picture should be a doozy. We may have to have a Grinch card this year!

How can it be possible?

2006-10-16T09:51:00.000-07:00

Now that Charlie has reached the communicating stage, I am having to eat yet another batch of words - not just a small, toddler sized mouthful but an ENTIRE cafeteria style, all-you-can-eat tray! When Jon Thomas was little, it seemed as though all my other Mommy friends literally drugged their kids. When we were out in public, theirs would be nicely riding in the cart, gently playing with a toy, etc. I, of course, would feel the need to comment on this when Jon Thomas's ear piercing squealing/playing/talking would reach a fever pitch. EVERY TIME, they would say, "oh, he/she is not like this at home", and EVERY TIME, I accused them of lying through their teeth. Well, now I have one of those children of my own, and I must concede that he is not the same in public as he is at home.

If you look at these photos , you'll see Charlie's "in public" face. He WILL NOT even look at people he does not know well (well=lives with on a daily basis)! He will not talk in public, he will not smile in public, and he will not make eye contact with other people. He will quietly play with a toy. He rarely strays from my side. Who is this kid?

Let's take a moment and contrast this with his brother, who at the age of 2 1/2 invited a homeless man home with us to jump on our trampoline. Hmmmmm. . .

It totally amazes me every day how I absolutely adore both my children but THEY ARE SO DIFFERENT! How did this shy, reserved, calm child come from me? I honestly do not understand it.

'Repeat Play' and other parenting mistakes!

2006-09-29T19:48:00.000-07:00

Warning: If you are in the market to read something uplifting, loving, kind - this is NOT the website for you. . . .

I am hopeful that relaying the story of this hellish week will somehow lighten my otherwise unbearable load, but I guess that remains to be seen. Since becoming a parent some 3 1/2 years ago, I have been so careful not to say, "I will never___________ with my child". I have actually said those words a couple of times thinking that I would be safe from the inevitable, "I told you so" of my life, but even the smallest things that you 'will never' - given the right circumstances, you will.

For the past 96 (yes, that's one entire work week) hours at least one member of my household has been vomiting and/or having diarrhea (note the use of the word AND), including Jonathan and ME! This is enough to cause me great mental harm as I have a terrificly insane phobia of throwing up. Truthfully, it is one of those things that I am just really, really, really neurotic about. If I even think that you're grandmother's aunt's sister has been exposed to a stomach bug, I will not be seeing you within a good 72 hours. With that being thoroughly explained to you, you should completely understand why the fact that all four of us have the stomach bug is enough to send me to the nut house. Here's the quick version . . .

Monday - Carrie puking
Monday night/Tuesday - Jon Thomas puking
Wednesday - Charlie diarrhea
Thursday - Jonathan puking, snotty with a fever
Friday - Charlie puking, diarrhea, snotty nose, fever

All these things considered, I think that you will completely understand and forgive the fact that I went back on several of my 'I nevers'. First, I have always prided myself in the fact that I limit my children's TV time and the content of the shows they watch. I'm not one of those TV nazis who doesn't own a tele, but I do only allow so much in one given 24 hour period. Until yesterday. I found myself SEARCHING the channels for something else for Jon Thomas to watch. By searching, you must understand that I really mean that I was desparately flipping the channels looking for a cartoon-like program. My brow was flushed and I was a little sweaty at the thought that something might not be on. At some point I did realize that I was going a little insane, and I did force some fresh air on the kid, but only after probably 5 or 6 hours of Dora the Explorer.

Another TV problem, Charlie is INSANE over Baby Einstein videos. He calls them 'Baby', and while he's been sick, that's ALL HE WANTS TO DO! More than once I have found myself absently staring at Baby Bach in a mesmerized, catatonic fashion. One more thing I have always prided myself in is that I HAVE NEVER utilized the 'repeat play' function on these videos. Well, until yesterday. I think Baby McDonald played ALL DAY LONG.

Since we have moved to Alabama, I have become more careful about what the kids eat. We don't eat out very much, and I try to make everything from scratch with fresh ingredients. Until yesterday. Jon Thomas finally felt like eating something - Chic Fil A chicken nuggets. He ate them - THREE TIMES YESTERDAY. Yes, I drove my car to Chic Fil A 3 times to order food for us because I could not stomach the thought of preparing something myself.

Lastly, I am the best at helping the children give up the passie. I HATE going somewhere and seeing a 3 or 4 year old with a passie in their mouth talking to their mother. So I decided to let my kids have the passie (which by the way I recently heard a Mom call it a 'suckie' - that is just wrong) until the age of 1 year at which time it is only allowed in their beds with them until 18 months when it is given up completely. Until yesterday, when Charlie carried around three passies. One in the mouth and one in each hand.

Before you strip me of my official "Mother of the Year" title, I have to be completely honest with you about the remainder of the week. Today, I was so tired on so many levels that I threatened to run away. Jon Thomas cried. People, it wasn't pretty.

But for this very minute, everyone is asleep but me. I am imagining their littlle antibodies working properly and little bodies healing themselves through lovely, recuperative sleep. Until tomorrow morning, I can dream of a world where my 1300 sq ft house does not smell like a litter box. I can dream of a world where children that do not while 23 1/2 hours a day, and I can think about what a much better Mommy I'm going to be after a good night of rest. Yeah, I'll keep you posted.

My New Commute!

2006-09-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

Shew, I finally made it work this morning! My big commute from the bed to the kitchen for my morning dose of Coke and straight over to my computer - it was tough. For a moment there I thought there might be some road construction but I quickly realized it was just the remnants of last night's Little Tykes truck parade in my den! It was touch and go there for a minute or two.

Since I haven't posted anything good in a while (except, of course, for pictures of my lovely kiddos) I thought I might discuss the following topic: Milestones reached by members of your family that you're are totally elated by but really not many other people can share in your joy.

Here they are . . .(listed in descending order of importance)

1. The ability to buckle one's own seatbelt over one's own booster seat. This has really changed my life in that now I say, "Jon Thomas, go get in the car and buckle up." I can send him out a full five minutes before I go out to have a moment to compose and gather all those things that need to be transported to the car, which include another human being.

2. The ability to do the nightly teeth brushing routine all alone. This occurs with the help of Agent Cool Blue - a lovely product sold at all local WalMarts that you should all invest in.

3. My children have finally mastered (namely the older of the two) the ability to play independently for more than 20 minutes at a time while I actually accomplish things!

4. It has taken 8 long years to get this one down - but older male members of my household have finally realized there is no garbage bag fairy who replaces the bags after he takes the full ones out, so HE DID IT HIMSELF! I was shocked into stunned silence when this first occured! Now we are working towards replacing DVD's in their own cases!

5. Charlie's milestone is small but a milestone for me nonetheless. We are trying to instill a helping spirit in our youngest and thus we have him take his dirty clothes to the laundry room each night. However, many nights I go into the kitchen to find his clothes in the GARBAGE CAN instead. Have you ever tried to clean coffee grounds out of knit shorts? Not fun. But now, he has successfully made it to the laundry room every night this week!

These are just a few of the little things that my family can do all by themselves! I look forward to hearing about your milestones!

Superman!

2006-08-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

We are very into Superman and Spiderman at our house, so when Meme came for a visit recently, she came with an entire Superman costume. The crest in the middle lights up - this alone has made our year. Although we have not had to wear the costume in public yet, I fully expect to make a trip to Wal Mart or Target in it sometime soon. Me, Charlie and Superman - headed out to grocery shop. . .

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

2006-08-22T19:22:00.000-07:00

We didn't have to search long when looking for Charlie at my "Fabulous Fondue" party last Saturday night. Just follow the sound of his giggles to the dining room table with the chocolate fondue! The giggles quickly ceased when he realized that he was going to be promptly removed from the top of the table and away from the fondue.

I HAVE LINKS!

2006-08-14T19:06:00.000-07:00

How do you like me now people? I have mastered linkage!

Mommy Mover - Part Two

2006-08-05T09:46:00.000-07:00

Mommy Mover II drove into our lives last Saturday. We are enjoying it immensely. Well, let me redefine "we" for you - it means the kids and I are enjoying the new car. Jonathan-not so much. This is nothing that new - he did not really like my van either, but I think the station wagon crossed the line for him. I, on the other hand, probably like it a little too much. I have ALWAYS wanted this car.

In other news, we are all glad that July is OVER! In addition to my MVA, someone has been sick since July 4th weekend. We have all taken turns with me most recently having pink eye, strep throat and two ear infections! We have covered the spectrum this month from the barfing bug to the ENT problems - I thought this was SUMMER?!?

August, on the other hand, is looking pretty good so far. Last night, Daddy went out for Guys Night Out! (You would never believe it, but one of the guys in our new Sunday School class organizes Guys Night Out. Granted they do totally dorky things, but I guess they enjoy it.) While the Dad was out, I invited over a couple of friends and we rented the kids a video. They had a great time, but I really made a poor video choice. I got Tarzan. When you have a child like Jon Thomas - this is not advisable. This morning, there was some unusual noise in his room. I went in to find him making Tarzan's signature noise, beating his chest, and "swinging" on the cords of his blinds. Since then Jonathan has taken him outside and let him climb up a tree via the ladder and swing off using a rope. Don't be alarmed, I've reserved us a room at the Pediatric ER. But I may need a couple of you to vouch for us when Social Services comes to visit! TARZAN!

Mommy Mover No More!

2006-07-25T17:44:00.000-07:00

Well, this van used to be called the Mommy Mover - not so much now! Here's what your car looks like after an unlicensed and uninsured motorist run straight through a stop sign at 45 mph and into your vehicle. Fortunately (shout out to the Lord for this) the kids were NOT with me at the time of the accident. Unfortunately, both their carseats were and now have to be replaced. Bummer! I was deemed okay after having a CAT scan and several neck x-rays. My head had a little run in with the driver's side window! A slight concussion, a large goose egg, some bruises, and one major headache (in more ways than one) have thankfully been the only problems.

Remember to drive carefully and BUCKLE UP! (yes, I was buckled)

FULL TIME WORKING MOTHER HERE!

2006-07-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

Charlie and I at the Huntsville Stars game!
Do you remember that slip and slides hurt? Jonathan and I tried it and it was not a good idea - we both had scratches all over our stomachs!
Fourth of July

Yes, you read that correctly! Here I sit - a Mommy venturing out into the world of work! What a change! I stand back in awe of all of you mothers who work 5 days a week AND take care of a family!

I got a new job (yes, I know the third in as many months) as a medical transcriptionist. Not the most high status job I could wish for, but a job nonetheless. GUESS WHAT - I get to train in the office for three short months and then SET UP AN OFFICE AND WORK AT HOME! This has been my dream since Jon Thomas was a wee little lad. Well really my dream was that we'd win the lottery or Jonathan would get a super high paying job so that I wouldn't have to work at all, but this will suffice! I am excited and happy but definitely ready for this three month gig to be over!

Nothing really to report on the home front. For the past week, everyone has been sick at varying times with some sort of stomach bug. Let me just say that NO ONE will EVER make fun of my vomit phobia again due to the fact that I picked partially digested hot dot out of my carpet for a couple of hours after we got home from the above mentioned Huntsville Starts game.

Outraged and Dumbfounded!

2006-06-14T13:20:00.000-07:00

You will NOT believe what happened to me today at TARGET! My friend Kathleen and I were shopping at Target around lunchtime, the kids were hungry, so we decided to feed them at the Target snack bar. (It IS very nutritious, okay) As we are eating, feeding the kids, and trying to decide what to get our husbands for Father's Day, this young guy walks over and says, "I'm going to say this because management isn't allowed to, but you need to find a way to keep your kids quiet." I WAS SO SHOCKED THAT I COULDN'T SAY A WORD!!!! Now, those of you who know me know that this rarely happens. And even as I sit here and type this the embarrassment is creeping up on me AND I still can't think of what I could've said that would've gotten my point across and been something Jesus would approve of! It's not as though we were at a 5 star resort or something - it was TARGET for goodness sakes. This sweet older lady looked at me and said, "honey, he's going to have kids one day too". That made it a little better.

Once again I ask you, "Why me?" And once again the answer is clear - it is the story of my life.

Gymnastics

2006-06-12T16:53:00.000-07:00

Jon Thomas has started his first official activity - gymnastics. The cutest thing you ever saw in your life! The next cutest thing is what I heard coming from JT's bedroom the night after our first gym class. Let me set the stage for you. . . Daddy is reading the nightly Bible story.

"And there was a man named Saul who was walking down a road going toward the city of Damascus."

"Ooooh Daddy, I've been there too"

"Where?"

"Gymnastus!"

HILARIOUS!

Potty Update!

2006-06-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, Charlie still asks to go potty, but only if we are in public and Jon Thomas also goes potty. I even (in an obvious state of insanity) got out the little potty and tried it out with Charlie. He screams bloody blue murder if I suggest he goes near it. Feel better people, there will be no potty training prior to at least 30 months around
here. That's about another $700.00 in diapers. :(

I Swear This is the TRUTH (but no indication of future events)

2006-06-05T19:25:00.000-07:00

Jonathan WAS present, so he can verify my story.

After spending 7 hours at church preparing for Bible School, Jonathan, kids, and I went to dinner. During the course of dinner, Charlie (my clearly genius not yet 15 month old) said, "I gotta tee tee". Jonathan and I stared at each other in disbelief as this is his first (and only) sentence.

"Charlie, what do you need?"

"tee tee"

"Charlie do you need to go to the potty?"

[fervent nodding of head in the affirmative] (another new trick)

I decided to go with it. I took him to the bathroom, took off his diaper and tried to put him on the potty. He cried and appeared to be frightened by this experience. I took him off the potty and he immediately peed all over the floor with my trying to catch it in my Target brand diaper - though a great improv tool for catching pee - it didn't really work that well.

I'm trying so hard not to have those sweet, sweet images of not buying anymore diapers from running through my mind. He probably won't be accepted to kindergarten because he still wears diapers. :)

Everyone should travel to Mississippi . . .

2006-05-31T13:13:00.000-07:00

Seriously, we have the craziest trips and I have some of the best stories when I travel to Mississippi. I haven't quite figured out if it's because we are going to the state of Mississippi, or if it's just the story of my life . . . .

Saturday morning, while enjoying a relaxing morning and watching one of my favorite movies, "While You Were Sleeping", we received the dreaded phone call. Jonathan's Uncle passed away and thus our whirlwind weekend had begun. Here's a quick overview of the best parts of the weekend . . .

Jon Thomas caught his first fish and screamed like a girl when he touched it and it was slimy.

Jon Thomas AND Charlie broke out in hives while fishing due to an apparent undiagnosed allergy to the grass growing around the pond. Side note - apparently the combination of Jonathan's genes and my genes are about a couple of ticks short of producing the boy in the plastic bubble. Our kids are allergic to everything!

Jon Thomas fed a baby calf out of a bottle and rode on a tractor!

I had to have a serious discussion with JT explaining why it was inappropriate to tee tee by the tree in the cemetary during the graveside service.

While playing at Mamaw Spears house (she passed away when JT was 3 months old), Jon T was corrected for playing with Mamaw Spears' cuckoo clock and he said, "Mamaw Spears is in heaven with God and she really doesn't need it anymore!" (do you think I could stick another Mamaw Spears in that sentence?)

Charlie has added many words to his growing vocabulary - Thank you and Danggit are the highlights!

We are home recuperating now and listening to Jonathan throw up in the bathroom after eating some "not so good" funeral food. His illness gives me enough fodder for an entirely new blog about how men are the biggest babies on the planet and it sucks to take care of them when they are sick.

Have a great week everyone!

Cartoon Tyrannies, etc.

2006-05-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

Okay, so lately when I'm watching TV with Jon Thomas (yes, he watches TV), I've noticed there are things that disturb (well maybe not quite disturb, but close) me. Here they are . . .

Sir Topham Hat has his finger in the pie of every business venture on the Island of Sodor - he runs the trains, buses, and apparently has control of Harold the Helicopter too. Wouldn't that be considered a monopoly on the transportation industry and be illegal? I think there should be an episode where STH is tried before a jury of his peers for his obvious squelching of free trade.
What normal person would have their COMPUTER set up next to their cannisters on their tile countertop in the kitchen so the talking cucumber and tomato can use it every now and then?
Why does Dora the Explorer talk in an insanely loud voice on TV? The girl has clearly not been properly explained the concept of the "inside voice" becasue she never uses one. She screams throughout the entire program.
Jon Thomas was allowed to watch Caillou a couple of times and now I do not allow it in my home any longer. First, that child is the whinest creature on the planet and secondly, no parent can use that deadly calm voice in the midst of total chaos - "Caillou, it isn't nice to set your sister's hair on fire. Mommy and Daddy don't approve of that." UGH!

PRODUCE!

2006-05-16T08:36:00.000-07:00

Here's our first garden product of the season. I must say, I'm very proud of our little garden this year. We have blooms on all our vegetables (and some tomatoes that get checked for a color change EVERY DAY) EXCEPT the okra. The okra plants are covered in ants! What is the deal with us and ants!

Can you see the thrill oozing out of Jon Thomas? I guess he really was excited because before I could chop the pepper and add it to my stir fry dinner, he ate it - stem, seeds and all!

I GOT A NEW JOB - A REAL ONE!

2006-05-08T18:57:00.000-07:00

After 11 long months of living in Huntsville, I have finally found a part-time job that has qualifications other than typing 35 words per minute at 90% accuracy! I'm so thrilled! I met with the owner of two Mathnasium (just don't comment on the name okay) franchise stores and I'm the new director of the Madison location. So the place is a math learning center that assesses kids and helps them in areas of math where they have gaps. It's a very neat program and I'm very exciting for a number of reasons which I'll outline for you now . . . (1) The center is (according to mapquest) 3.8 miles from my house (2) I will work 4 afternoons a week from 2 p.m. until 7 p.m. (3) My children will stay at a woman's house 3 hours a day and her house is (not according to mapquest, according to me so give or take a mile) 2.5 miles from my house (4) they are paying me a lot more than my crappy hospital job. YIPPEE!

REALLY TIRED BOYS

2006-04-26T12:43:00.000-07:00

After our trip to the ATL last week, the boys were REALLY TIRED, but recovering much too quickly for me.

So, here's the latest in the life of Carrie. I've gotten a new job - an upgrade but nothing that's going to make us rich or anything. I'll be teaching chemistry, middle school science and doing a science fair at a home school cover school (it's a church). They have childcare provided at the school, and it's one day a week! It's fabulous and we're all excited! So, today I decide that I'm going to go to a homeschool bookstore in Huntsville to find a chemistry curriculum. Prior to going to the store, I (sweetest mom on Earth) stop at Chic Fila so the boys can eat and play. We eat, play, eat ice cream and leave. On the way out, I get a refill of my gigantic coke. On the way to the homeschool store, I spilled the coke all over me! Well, I decide to be a trouper and still go in the store (even though I look like I sneezed too hard and wet myself). I dry myself off with my ever present stash of napkins and head inside, after I've picked up the ice and mopped up the coke that's all over the car. Thankfully, the people in the store are very laid back since the woman who owns it has 12 kids and has homeschooled them all. Charlie proceeds to dump out a bucket of no less than 700 pens and pencils while I'm holding him. Jon Thomas is fairly well behaved except for the one "trying to climb the shelving in the store because it does look just like a ladder" incident. We pay for our chemistry book and a couple of nice coloring books (learning aids in counting and reading of course) and head out the door. Now, it's raining. My keys are sitting nicely on the seat of my locked car. Jonathan is called. Please hold on, it gets worse. It's been raining here for a good 12 hourse with a break around the time that we go out. Well, I'm trying to explain to Jonathan where I am - he's using terms like 'North' and 'South', while I use terms like 'opposite of the Texaco'. I turn around to watch (imagine in like that slow motion in movie kinda way) Jon Thomas jumping into the largest puddle on the planet. Still remaining calm (only because I'm certain one of those homeschool mothers will emerge any minute to see me in all my glory), I get him out of the puddle and have him sit on the curb. Needless to say, I'm NEVER taking them out in public again - at least until tomorrow.

HOWEVER, to offset my horrible story, I must tell you about my deal of a lifetime. I went garage sale shopping with my new friend Joanne on Saturday. I see a double jogging stroller - just like my single one with the swivel front wheel. I'm salivating here people because trying to walk with one in the stroller and one riding his bicycle isn't fun - or exercise for that matter - there's all that stopping to help pedal, etc. I ask the lady how much she wants for it and wait. I'm expecting $75 because the thing looks brand spanking new. She says, "offer me $10 and it's yours". I couldn't get to my $10 fast enough. Yeehaw! Because I saved so much money on the stroller, I got a brand spanking new pair of walking shoes. I tell you, my fat is just ready to jump off of me when I get going with my new stroller!

Easter

2006-04-12T07:10:00.000-07:00

So, Easter is not the best holiday for Jon Thomas. You see, all his young life, he's had trouble finding things. Not small, obscure things that any toddler/preschooler would have trouble with, but huge things - like airplanes flying overhead and such. This surprises both his parents and everyone in our general acquaintance because he's such an articulate - okay, well genius - kid! :) The egg hunting is not our best activity. Case in point, the Saturday egg hunt at our church. It's for toddlers and preschoolers alike, so basically the eggs are poured all over the ground. How hard is this? Not very! We arrive with our dozen eggs apiece (yes, Charlie is participating as well) and Jon Thomas only gets 3 eggs more than Charlie! We are hosting a egg party playdate at our house Friday, so we're determined to get some practice in so we can make a good showing at that time.

How Fast They Grow!

2006-03-30T15:25:00.000-08:00

I Could Make a Fortune. . .

2006-03-24T13:59:00.000-08:00

I've made a HUGE discovery! I've found the BEST exercise you can do to lose weight and build muscle. It's called taking two young children to the photo studio to have their pictures made. I'm thinking of making a video to specifically outline the program. Here's how it goes:

It all starts when you rack your brain before you call the studio trying to decide what time is best to photograph both children (separately AND together) when they will both be in reasonably good moods.
The day of the appointment, bathe both children and groom them in 30 minutes or less.
Pack the bag - don't forget a brush (and in SOME people's cases hairbows - alas, I have no opportunity for hairbows), the right kind of socks, and antipersperant (for you, of course).
Schlep everyone to the car.
Arrive at the place too early.
Try to keep the children from getting upset while "taking turns" with the 25 other children in the room who want to play with the two toys the "studio" has invested in.
Go in the room.
Dance around to get kid #1 to smile.
Snatch kid #1 off the table and change his clothes.
Dance around for kid #2.
Throw kid #1 on the table with kid #2.
Dance around for both kids.
Snatch kid #2 off the table.
Dance around for kid #1's shots in the 2nd outfit (only if you are VERY brave).
Schlep everyone out of the room and stand while holding 25 lb. weight (or in my case non-walking baby), look at pictures, and stand on kid #2 to keep him from going nuts!
Stagger out to the car and collapse - you've reached total muscle failure - CONGRATULATIONS!

Musicals, Birthdays, Cousins, and Weapons

2006-03-07T12:51:00.000-08:00

We have again arrived home from a whirlwind trip to visit the family. We did lots of things while we were there . . . (don't be alarmed I won't go into full detail, but merely an overview).

First, we left Thursday afternoon around 6:30 p.m. so the drive was quite peaceful! JT watched a video followed by sleep, Charlie took a bottle followed by sleep, and I watched "Pride and Prejudice" on the dvd after everyone was asleep. Upon arrival, however, the peaceful state I described earlier was replaced by utter chaos. Everyone woke up during the move from car to house and didn't get back to sleep until around midnight. HOWEVER, we were all up at our regular waking hour of 7:00 a.m. Not a pretty sight!

Friday we went to Jackson to see my nephew Wilson in his school production of "Once upon a Mattress". It was excellent and I must say the my nephew is quite the crooner and actor - I feel certain that some of this talent came from our side of the family. I wish a had a photo to post of it, but my camera was forgotten in the car.

Saturday we had Charlie's first birthday party. I am torn between tears and joy. Mainly because the child is a year old (on the 13th), a HUGE 25 pounder to lug around, and WILL NOT WALK. He's perfectly capable, but will not do it. At any rate, the party was lots of fun, presents were plentiful, and multiple cupcakes were eaten! I managed to make it through the ENTIRE event without saying something completely embarrassing or sticking my foot down my throat - which is a first for me and I know you are all disappointed. So, I'll leave you with some photos and hope that next time I'll have some good conversation to relate.

First, you shove your hand in icing and cry because you don't like it.

Next, your mommy gives you an actual taste of it and you get a little more into it.

Finally, you've managed to devour an entire cake!

Here's the big brother (and cousins) after trying to get a lick of icing.

Oh, and weapons . . . Jon Thomas finally owns a gun! It's taken Daddy three long years to sneak one in, but now we officially have a Buzz Lightyear gun - and boy do we LOVE IT with a passion. Now my mantra has become one of two things - "we don't shoot people with guns" or "we don't shoot our brother." Thanks Daddy!

Taxes and Death

2006-02-27T16:53:00.000-08:00

Isn't there an old saying that the only sure things in life are taxes and death? I'm going to put in a bulleted list (just for you Mother Goose) of a few things that are SURE around our house . . .

One of my children is going to be injured around my new friend Cindy (whose prides herself in the fact that her child has only bled 3 times in as many years). I feel certain this takes away ANY chance I had of becoming MotY.
Jon Thomas is going to form tackle Charlie approximately 63,245 times a day. There reaches a point where I stop considering this a bad thing and look at it as "practice for later careers for which my children will be highly paid and will take care of me" - or at least hire someone else to do it.
I will put in a load of laundry (because my resolution was to keep up with it this year and not let it pile up) only to realize that there is one sock laying on the floor. I'll later put the clean sock up until the other one gets washed in the next days laundry only to realize I have no clue where I have put the sock for "safe keeping". Oh and by the way, if you (in a fit of organizational glory) decide to color code your kids socks with a Sharpie marker so pairing them will be easier, don't use a red Sharpie. After washing, the mark will look like an old blood stain, and your child will appear to have oozing foot wounds!
Jon Thomas and Charlie will decide to play the squealing game at the height of the worst headache in my life. However, I'm reluctant to do away with the squealing game because its the only thing they actually do well together!
No one poops alone here - even with the well meaning parents and door locks!
I will consider - probably not often enough - how blessed I am to have such a wonderful little family to raise!

'Lympics

2006-02-14T11:38:00.000-08:00

Take a look at the position I will be in all the hours I possibly can during the next two weeks. I LOVE THE OLYMPICS (or 'lympics - as certain 3 year olds call them around here)! Job searching, cooking, laundry are all grinding to a halt around here while I am caught up in the saga of the games. And you know the sadder, more pathetic the story - the more I'm hooked. For example, if there is an Iraqi woman competing - I'm all in tears rooting for her and rejoicing in her last place finish. Or some African ski king whose never really seen snow - ALL ABOUT IT! Did I mention that I love the olympics?

CHRONIC OTITIS MEDIA

2006-02-05T23:08:00.000-08:00

The official diagnosis for my sweet Charlie boy. A chronic ear infection - which in reality means chronic pulling on the ear and crying at odd times. The infection has been there so long (and survived 5 courses of antibiotics) that it is now in the bones behind his ear. That scares the poop outta me but seems not to be too concerning to the ENT who is putting in our tubes. Hopefully putting in the tubes THIS week - if I can be convincing and cry hard enough for the scheduler to take pity on me.

In other news, still no job. or at least a job I like where people might semi-appreciate what I do.

In some more news, I have a funny tid bit for you - all real and true straight from the life of me . . .

Here's the scene - We've been invited over for dinner with our new friends (both electrical engineers). Well, one's an electrical engineer and one is a mommy (with a 2 1/2 yr old, a 11 month old and pregnant - oh my LORD) who in another life was an engineer too. So, they are building this fabulous house and I'm looking at the plans . . .

Carrie: I love this layout - you are going to have so much room blah blah blah (complementing them on their choice of tile, etc.)

Mommy Engineer: Thanks, we'll be excited to finish the house.

Carrie: What are these flower things drawn all over the plans?

Mommy Engineer: Those are ceiling fans.

Carrie: Oh, yeah, smart.

The end

SO SO TIRED!

2006-01-31T08:45:00.000-08:00

Things have not returned to normal since we returned from MS for my dad's surgeries. Friday, Charlie decided to spew vomit (yes, vomit) all over my lovely minivan and himself. It wasn't pretty. So, I went ahead to work and Jonathan took care of the sad sack of vomit and diarrhea that our baby has become. By Saturday afternoon, he will not let me put him down and when I get around to taking his temp, it's 102.8 under his arm. So, I become concerned. I called the pediatrician who MET US AT HER OFFICE AT 7:30 P.M. ON SATURDAY NIGHT! Needless to say, I love her. She sends us over to the hospital to spend the night for some tests and fluid. At 10:30, we have an IV and settle in for the night. Staying in the hospital with a 10 month old SUCKS (mother, there are no other words to describe it). I have literally never been so tired in all my born days. We get home Sunday at 8:00 p.m. All is well until Monday at 6:00 p.m. when we start vomiting again. Back to the doc today - hopefully no hospitalizations - I'll keep you posted.

News from Newton and a Bit of Whining

2006-01-27T07:44:00.000-08:00

Okay, so here we are, home from Newton again. We have managed to avoid a trip to the pediatrician this time, so I'm feeling pretty good about that! My daddy had to have two heart caths and three stints put in place this week because he had some major blockages of his arteries. All the more reason for me to forge ahead with Weight Watchers! Other reasons would include that I saw at least 6 people I went to high school with at the hospital and would like to be a more normal looking person when next I meet them. At any rate, Daddy is doing well, and we are back home only to leave tomorrow for Birmingham. We are spending the night to visit with the Mauldins for the day on Sunday. Whew, what a week. I just hope that Bridget and I get some time away from the kids together - I hear there are some nice outlet malls in B'ham.

I interviewed for two more jobs and I'm beginning to get discouraged. Seriously, DO NOT tell me at the interview that all looks well and you'll give me a ring either way if you ARE NOT GOING TO DO IT! I mean, come on, it's ridiculous. Please explain to me why hiring someone whose overqualified for a position is a bad thing - especially if that person WANTS you to hire them. I mean, I'm starting to take it a bit personally here. I also got a letter from Calhoun Community College saying that I wasn't qualified to teach there because I don't have 18 graduate hours in biology or chemistry. Hello, I have 18 graduate hours in a science type subject - does that count for anything???!!!! Apparently not. So, I've decided to stop my whining, put on a happy face, and take myself down to the hospital for work tonight with a good attitude. Hopefully that attitude will last more than 5 minutes. But I must say, why on earth did I not go to school for some tangible job like NURSING or ACCOUNTING. Something for which there is a specific category in the want ads for?

The kids and the husband are great! The husband says I only have to stick out the awful job until his first raise comes in - in JUNE! That's 5 more months - I just don't think it's gonna happen! Charlie has TWO molars in the back and TWO more that are almost through. I mean, the kid has almost as many teeth as his brother and only weighs about 10 lbs less than him too. What is going on here? Jon Thomas has reverted to crawling and talking like a baby anytime he feels he isn't the complete center of attention - any older, wiser mothers out there with any advice? I mean other than locking him in his room! :)

Even though I'm a sad whining sack of drama this week, we really are doing well and enjoying life in Huntsville more and more.

Musings and Molars

2006-01-19T19:36:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this job hunting stuff is AWFUL! Really, way down deep (way way down) I want to have a career and do things that are meaningful for humanity and stuff, but right now, I just want to be with my family and take care of them! What's a girl to do? With student loans to pay - I think it's best that she WORK somewhere - forget humanity for the time being - I guess the hospital will have to do.

Anyway, Charlie Spears is now a member of the Spears allergy alliance. He had an ear infection New Year's Day and was given a drug in the penicillan family and VOILA a HUGE rash all over his body! So, no more penicillans for us! After the allergy induction, we changed the antibiotic and took it according to the pediatricians instructions AND he's still pulling on his ear. She assures me that it's fine, but I'm not so sure. SO the other day he's rolling around on the floor, I see something in his mouth - IT'S A MOLAR! He is 10 MONTHS OLD - I don't think there should be a molar ALL THE WAY THROUGH HIS GUMS - AND - I CAN FEEL THE OTHER THREE ALREADY COMING IN! Surely this can't be right - but alas, it is.

All else is well with the world - Buzz Lightyear and Woody are our new best friends! Jon Thomas thinks Buzz says, "To Infinity and Deon" - Deon who? I don't know.

Hallelujah!!!

2006-01-12T06:44:00.000-08:00

All I have to say is that BOTH my kids are at "school" today for FOUR hours. I also would like to say how absolutely AWFUL I look when taking them through carpool line. All these mommies in their make up and stuff at 8:30 - I don't think so! I roll out of bed in time to wipe booties, put clothes on those same booties, get out the door. Something must be wrong with me. Oh yeah, it's that I have an awful job from which I don't get home until after midnight!

The New Year!

2006-01-06T14:02:00.000-08:00

Okay - the new year has begun! My main resolutions this year - (1) become the real mother of the year (they really have that here in Greater Huntsville, but I don't really know how to get my name in the hat). You know the mother I mean, the one whose voice never goes above that fake calm voice even if her children are causing bodily harm to one another. I'm going to get there eventually. I work on that fake voice at least 1/2 hour each day. Except during todays session, my child proceeded to pull his pants down and urinate off our front steps WHILE our playdate and his mom were putting on their coats to leave our house. I lost the calm voice then. It wasn't pretty! (2) lose 60 pounds - I've ordered Weight Watchers and am starting Monday - that would be after I make fondue for dinner and have several large glasses of wine tonight. (3) get over my obsessions - I am compulsively obsessed with two things - vomit and zits. I cannot stand having a zit on my face that I have not "messed with" at some point. The vomit thing goes without saying around here and you all know this about me! I'm so freaky about it that when my kids are around other kids (to me - potential pukers) I give them both cranberry juice afterward because I read in a magazine that it has antimicrobic properties and can help avoid the stomach flu. This is the same magazine in which it talks about breathing during labor and how it helps with the pain - whatever!

Anyhow, here are my sweet kiddos that are forced to live with my neuroses just because I gave birth to them! Poor guys - just think, they'll have to take care of my zits when I'm in the nursing home! Lucky them!

Christmas Vacation (at least I think so . . .)

2005-12-30T09:26:00.000-08:00

So, we're back from the Christmas break, and boy, I am so glad. Is it a universal rule that whenever we travel to Jackson, MS for longer than 48 hours, we have to visit my sister's pediatrician? I think we know him better than our own doc. So, two infected ears on Christmas Eve Eve (for you lay peeps that's the day before Christmas Eve) and one big ol' antibiotic shot later, we are all reasonably okay. That is, if you consider okay to be one snotty baby and one snotty, ear infected big boy that has a serious growing case of sibling rivalry! Christmas was just hard on him - the poor kid. At one point I seriously contemplated getting "Santa" to return all his gifts for a bag of switches.

We then went to my mother's where I ALWAYS manage to find a completely inappropriate book to read! I can't seem to help myself Danielle Steele (which my grandmother says as DAN L Steele) can really write! So, I've had my trashy romance novel fix for this quarter! Just thinking about my grandmother and I reading the same Dan L Steele novels makes me blush!

On the job search front, I've applied for TWO positions for which I feel that I am perfectly suited. Hopefully the people responsible for hiring will too. I've got to make some contacts though because these jobs are more along the lines of program coordinator, and I just don't think that people get that I'm quite capable of such work since I can't change my resume in any way to make myself seem like less of a science geek! People just don't get that my degree in public health makes me such a well rounded employee! I've got to figure out how to change that!

Well, I must end here - I have to go call my husband at his job and try to convince him that it is wise for my to give my two weeks notice at the hospital prior to finding another job!

Happy New Year to all!

The Toughest Job You'll Ever . . . WHAT?

2005-12-14T18:44:00.000-08:00

Okay, so while I do have an important job hunt tidbit to update you on (coming later), I have more pressing topics to discuss regarding a difficult day of parenting, which is in fact the toughest job you'll ever love no matter how corny that is. So, within 15 minutes of my 9 month old Charlie awakening from his peaceful sleep, his brother has literally tackled him to the floor in the likeness of Hulk Hogan versus Peewee Herman. Hence visit to the naughty chair #1 of the day. The rest of the morning goes surprisingly smoothly - mainly because it's raining outside and I allow my oldest child to watch Toy Story (new obsession) which is 60 more minutes of TV than we normally get during the course of the morning. Charlie is napping and life is good. I decide to sew for a little while. Little do I know that danger is lurking nearby. I suddenly hear a crash, an "uh oh", and little boy feet running through my house. Jon Thomas has decided to play baseball with a wooden spoon and the Christmas ornaments (the ones that are actually on the tree). Oh boy, he's hit a homerun! There in the floor is the beautiful red Christmas tree ornament in about 300,000 pieces on my CARPET! Oh Holy Night! That was not a fun thing to clean up! So I clean it up and move on. I need to make cookies for Jon Thomas to take to the teachers at his school tomorrow since it's his last day before the big break. Well, I go to the ladies room after having gotten out all the ingredients. I come back and lo and behold there's a mountain of flour from the 1/2 full sack of flour on the counter - underneath I discover a measuring cup. Jon Thomas says, "Mommy, I was doing you a favorite (translation - favor) and helping you measure for the cookies". NO naughty chair for that - hello, how can you not giggle at a kid covered in flour because he's doing a favorite? So, I'm shooting for the big time here people - I was going to have (all in the same day) taken reasonably good care of TWO kids, baked cookies, fixed dinner, monogrammed countless hair bows, put together the family gingerbread house (albeit with the hot glue gun rather than the recommended icing), AND bathed everyone before the Daddy comes in from work. Imagine Jon Thomas playing in the tub. Charlie crawls in sweetly and pulls up to the side. I go for the camera. By the time I get back I'm hearing a little boy say, "wet Charlie" repeatedly. I actually enter the room to see Jon Thomas pouring cup after cupful of water on my little Charlie's head. Charlie is, of course, loving it. Me, not so much! But we finally eat, decorate the house and all are finally asleep! Whew!

Now for the job offer. I've applied at several local museums thinking they could surely use my education expertise (I was a teacher for crying out loud)! Well, I got a call from the Space and Rocket Center. They would like for me to be a team leader for their programs starting in January. This HR woman literally talks to me for a full five minutes about teaching children to think for themselves, shaping their futures, and has me going hook, line and sinker. All I need to do is come down and fill out the paperwork. I am feeling good - getting to be in a quasi-teaching role again, working part-time, and shaping our future leaders - I am definitely in. Then she lays it on me - $7.95/hr. Please explain to me how anyone can really be expected to mold and shape young minds for that kind of cash? I can't even think of a remark sassy enough to describe how the conversation went from there - downhill, quick.

The First Post

2005-12-12T12:44:00.000-08:00

So, I've been convinced by a friend to start this lovely (and a little too public) record of my quest for greatness in the world of epidemiologists. Really it isn't a quest so much as me trying to find ANY job that remotely has to do with the field in which I hold two degrees and let me have some time during this life to raise the two sweetest children alive. I probably should also define the term sweetest for you! In my case, sweetest means one boy child that has so much energy that people routinely say things like, "he's so busy" and "you have your hands full" (neither of which are complimentary things to say to a person), and a second boy child who smiles, drools, and spits up (complimentary description of projectile vomiting) at the drop of a hat. All in all, I have a terrific life - I just haven't found exactly what job situation is right for me here in Huntsvile. Yes, HuntsVILE - I still haven't gotten quite used to living here yet, and I miss Atlanta and all the people there so much that I'm even typing in the Georgia font as a way to connect!

I'll be sending out two resumes in a few minutes, so I'm certaint that by the end of the week, I'll have some good job-hunting stories to share with you so stay tuned . . .

If you are questioning whether or not to ever visit this blog again, consider - if you ask anyone who knows me, my life is a lot like a sitcom - there is AT LEAST one embarrassing moment every episode!